The fortress

All around.
Too high to climb.
Too deep to dig under.
Sealed off.
There are no doors.
No windows.
A perfect safe place.
A perfect prison.
I lived here for so long.
Protected from everything around me.
Nothing could get to me.
Until one day.
You stood in front of me.
In my prison.
With no way in.
You managed to appear.
You stayed.
You made my prison a home.
This prison, which should keep everything out.
Finally feels right, since you came.
From within these walls, where i kept everything out.
I now ask you to stay.

You know?

It is hard sometimes.
Sitting there and hardly being able to breath
because my chest is so heavy.
Feeling a firm grasp around my heart
making me feeling uneasy.
I am used to it for several years by now.
It seems like it has always been this way.
It seems like it has to be this way.
I wonder how it felt before.
Was i ever feeling easy.
But this burden is something i have to bear.
This is something i decided long ago.
And I will carry it to the very end.
– sanados


All this walking around.
Forward, backward.
Circles, yes, most times in circles.
Mile after mile.
After some time i found the way.
A straight line.
A long one.
I started running.
My shoes start to wear out.
I wonder how long they will last.
It’s been some time I’ve been running around.
Following the path in front of me.
Occasionally tried to break through the walls beside me.
Just to look down and continue on the path in front of me.
Left with some scratches on me.
Every now and then i find some water.
Even some food i managed to catch.
Just enough to stay alive.
Just enough to keep me on the track.
Only some miles more.
I try to tell myself.
Looking down this path.
Starring into an endless horizon.
Never asked how far i have to go.
Never dared to ask why i have to take this path.
I just know it is worth it.
What could be worth all of this?
Sweated my shirt long ago.
My trousers are worn out.
My hair and beard start to hinder me whilst walking.
Make me stumble and slow me down.
This long path in front of me.
And i am getting slower and slower.
Then i tripped and came to a halt.
Here I am now.
Kneeling and asking.
Is it really worth.
Then she took me in her arms and said:
“Finally you waited for me.”

– sanados