Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows …

“Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman’s womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. Woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which she is bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love a taking of man within her, an act of birth and rebirth, of child rearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to be. But for woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment man rests inside of her.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

You know?

It is hard sometimes.
Sitting there and hardly being able to breath
because my chest is so heavy.
Feeling a firm grasp around my heart
making me feeling uneasy.
I am used to it for several years by now.
It seems like it has always been this way.
It seems like it has to be this way.
I wonder how it felt before.
Was i ever feeling easy.
But this burden is something i have to bear.
This is something i decided long ago.
And I will carry it to the very end.
– sanados


All this walking around.
Forward, backward.
Circles, yes, most times in circles.
Mile after mile.
After some time i found the way.
A straight line.
A long one.
I started running.
My shoes start to wear out.
I wonder how long they will last.
It’s been some time I’ve been running around.
Following the path in front of me.
Occasionally tried to break through the walls beside me.
Just to look down and continue on the path in front of me.
Left with some scratches on me.
Every now and then i find some water.
Even some food i managed to catch.
Just enough to stay alive.
Just enough to keep me on the track.
Only some miles more.
I try to tell myself.
Looking down this path.
Starring into an endless horizon.
Never asked how far i have to go.
Never dared to ask why i have to take this path.
I just know it is worth it.
What could be worth all of this?
Sweated my shirt long ago.
My trousers are worn out.
My hair and beard start to hinder me whilst walking.
Make me stumble and slow me down.
This long path in front of me.
And i am getting slower and slower.
Then i tripped and came to a halt.
Here I am now.
Kneeling and asking.
Is it really worth.
Then she took me in her arms and said:
“Finally you waited for me.”

– sanados