Category: Gedanken

I do not cast the first stone into the water anymore. 
To make a ripple requires a weight I no longer carry, 
an intention I am too tired to hold. 
Instead, I have become the cliff face.

When the world throws its noise at me, 
I give it back, 
perfectly intact, 
yet entirely cold. 
I return the cadence. 
I match the expectation. 
I am a flawless mirror constructed out of fatigue.

It takes no fuel to bounce a sound. 
You just have to stand completely still, 
letting other people’s urgency do all the heavy lifting. 
You borrow their momentum just to make it through the hour.

They hear my reply and think I am full. 
They do not realize they are listening to the acoustics of an empty room.

But a room must still be made of something to catch a voice at all. 
I am hollowed out, 
surviving only in the return, 
resting in the quiet geometry of reflection. 
Waiting for the silence to feel like mine again.

I’m old now.
I have to pretend that I’m not a kid anymore.
But the truth is, somewhere inside, that child still claws at the walls.
Every year I bury him a little deeper,
under responsibility, under silence, under the weight of days that only repeat.

People say growing up is about becoming stronger,
but sometimes it feels like it’s just learning how to disappear.
Piece by piece, smile by smile.
I wear my adult face like armor,
hoping no one notices the cracks spreading underneath.

There are nights when I look in the mirror
and don’t recognize the eyes staring back.
Tired, dimmer, as if they’ve seen too much
and forgotten almost everything that once made them bright.

Maybe this is what age really is:
not a number, but a slow surrender,
an endless negotiation with the ghosts of who we could’ve been.
And yet we walk on, pretending,
because that’s what the world expects.
To hide the child, swallow the fear,
and call it maturity.

The world is cruelest to the strong ones.
The moment something bad happens,
you have to be strong.
When everyone around you crumbles,
you have to be strong.
When they carry a burden,
you have to be strong.
When they are overtaken by sadness,
you have to be strong.
When their world—and yours—shatters,
you have to be strong.

For them.
To cling to what is left.
To nurture hope.
To hold them.

Then,
after some time,
when the pain eases,
when they can breathe again,
when they can laugh again—
that is the time
when you start to feel.
When you face your pain.
When you break.
When the world has moved on.

Who understands where you are left—
alone in your sadness,
alone in your suffering,
broken.

To all who knew me, thank you.
I lived a full and exciting life.
Nothing was left unfinished,
and I carry no regrets.
I made every mistake I could —
and wouldn’t change a thing.

Mourn me for a moment,
then be glad.
I was always guided by my mind,
and I would not have lived it any other way.

Be ware of people like yourself.

They might understand you,
feel like you.

Even worse,
feel for you.

And you?
Standing there.
Naked as you came.
Freezing.

Will you be warmed
or shattered?

I walk with few.
Stand with me.
Or be nothing.

Let me make one thing clear: I don’t care how important you are to me. The moment you make it clear that I’m not important to you, you become a stranger to me.

I’ve learned that loyalty is everything. If you can’t see my worth, you have no place in my life. I don’t waste time on people who don’t value me.

Respect is earned, not given. I give respect to those who deserve it. The moment you show me that you don’t care, you lose my respect—and you lose my trust.

People come and go. I don’t have time for games or for people who treat me however they like. It’s simple: you respect me, I respect you. You stand by me, I’ll stand by you. But if you decide to walk away, don’t expect me to follow.

So, if you’re in my life, remember this: it’s a privilege, not a right. I won’t beg for attention, and I don’t chase after anyone. I focus on those who matter.

~ KNG